don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
