dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
