Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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