Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
