Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize