Your tits are I can't wait for
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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