she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
