I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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