Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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