Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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