my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
