her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
