when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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