How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
