Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
