can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
