Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
