he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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