oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
