You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
