His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
