Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
