Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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