you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
