Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
