I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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