I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
