Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
