I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
