I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize