I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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