totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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