He kissed a someone with a penis
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
