I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
