Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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