he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
