Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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