my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
