He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
