matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
