Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
