my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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