I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
smell my finger.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
