There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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