So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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