Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
