I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
