What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
