I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
