Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
