I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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