I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize