We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
