Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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