hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
