those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize