My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
