im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
