Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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