one might say we're banned from that church
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
