What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
