can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
