I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Less talking, more tequila
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
