Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
